The dog news

Monkey Man and Gorilla Girl invented a new game today called the dog news. Alternating turns, each of them invents a new “rule,” then laughs hysterically.  Monkey Man and Gorilla Girl played a round or two at dinner today, and though I didn’t get all of the jokes, quite a few of them made me chuckle along.  Stuie is the neighbor’s dog, the one of infamous dog lip status. Stuie, it should be noted, spends quite a bit of time panting, wagging his tail, and keeping Monkey Man and Gorilla Girl entertained in the “party barn,” where cheetos, wine, and beer are consumed, and where many rounds of golf are played for cash.

Rule number one: Don’t let Stuie eat cheetos.**
Rule number two: Don’t let Stuie drink beer.
Rule number three: Don’t let Stuie play golf.
Rule number four: No dog lips.
Rule number five: Don’t let Stuie drink wine.

**Stuie has been known to snatch cheetos from Monkey Man’s slowly moving fingers.  Gorilla Girl has developed a strategy for camouflaging and quickly consuming her cheetos in order to subvert Stuie’s thievery.

Monkey Man and Gorilla Girl made it to rule number twenty, and the rules became increasingly silly (as if one through five are not silly enough).

Of course, discussing dog news  makes one think of other cinematic gems, and the conversation turned from dog lips to Star Horse and The Lorax, two recent favorites. Actually, they have only seen a bit of The Empire Strikes Back, but to MM, Star Wars sounds like Star Horse. It makes as much sense as the Lorax, and MM doesn’t know what a war is, but he does know what a horse is.

MM: “Thneed, it’s thneeds in the Lorax.”

GG: “Sneeth?”

MM: “TH, TH, Thneed.”

GG: “I can’t say it, but I can say, Star Wars.”

MM:”I forget how to say Star Horse and you forget how to say thneed.”

EE: “Good thing we can all help each other remember.”

Some days, I admit, the constant chatter at dinner makes me long for a quiet, meditative dinner, even a solitary one. Today, though, I was glad for the company and the rules, the energy, and the clamor.

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This entry was posted in children, dog rules, family, humor and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The dog news

  1. Aw, those are cute rules!

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